Jesus’ Emotional Intelligence Definition is more than just emotional connection and savvy.
It’s His Wisdom that we can use for His Kingdom! He knows us and our hearts, because he made us for his special purposes.
Catch that greatness in your pastoral care. Here are 3 Keys you can use to grow in this gifting–so your church can be well fed and strong in the Lord! Some Great “How TO” instructions are awaiting.
A congregation will fall in love with Jesus more & grow a deeper respect for you–as the truth of the gospel you preach impacts their walk.
When I was a young soldier in the US ARMY serving as the Post Chaplain’s barracks pastor the Chaplain taught me a valuable lesson.
He told me,
Jesus’ Essential emotional intelligence definition for a pastor is different than for any other leader out there. You gotta have more than the ability to just spot, get a grip on, wrap your mind around, and command emotions in beneficial ways. You have to do that while you calmly communicate like Jesus. His emotional intelligence definition is all about compassion for and empathy with others so you can help them overcome all challenges we face, and defuse conflict.
When a pastor preaches the gospel in a way that communicates the heart of God through the truth of the gospel… It is a special message of Jesus’ love! That “special-ness” makes them say, “yes” to Jesus’ call for their lives!”
Key #1: Put Emotional Bonding Into Play
Proverbs 18:24 – A man [that hath] friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend [that] sticketh closer than a brother.
Here’s a simple truth: if a congregation isn’t comfortable with you (and your emotional intelligence), they wouldn’t consider respecting you.
A congregation has to feel a considerable measure of closeness before they can joyfully respect you on a deeper level.
But how do you achieve this kind of emotional intelligence?
Over my lifetime as a Christian in the church there have been some amazingly personable pastors I have had who could just tell how you were feeling and what kind of emotional support you needed.
Pastor Dan Mullins of the Vineyard Church in Orlando Florida could always make you feel important and special with his emotional intelligence just by his level of excitement.
Dr. Larry Seikewitch operates in this whole different emotional intelligence definition because he is an amazing listener and was ready with a Biblical answer–but he never jumped the gun.
Here is an example I found that greatly illustrates this ability from: http://mattdabbs.com
I had an experience today that reminded me of how I am sure some people felt when they met Jesus. We were visiting hospitals and shutins today.
When the elevator door opened one of our church members was standing there talking to some co-workers.
When she saw us she lit up, dropped everything and just started going on and on making us feel so special.
She hugged us and laughed and had so much joy! She said just by seeing us we made her day. She started walking us around and introducing us to whoever she could find.
She was so proud that we were there with her. It was like we were the most important thing in her life for that moment.
I can’t tell you how special that made me feel. I was smiling the whole time. It felt contagious.
I wanted to do this to someone else but it doesn’t come quite as naturally to me as it does to this sister. Even still I am determined to make someone else feel that special. I should probably start with my wife! It made me wonder, “Is this how people felt when they encountered Christ?” I can’t help but think some did and I started to wonder how I could make others feel just that special too.”
Once you’re past the first phase of getting to know a new church member (where you’ve gotten to know their interests, etc.), you can transition to a series of activities where you can explore the person that they are on a deeper level.
It is important to get to know who they really are meeting them at several locations (all of which depend on your church member’s specific likes) where you can build enough personal connection on an emotional level.
If your wife is ready for having new church members over for a meal it can become a wonderful shared experience with the new church members.
Remember, shared experiences make for a stronger emotional bond.
It doesn’t have to be all in one day; you can split your activities across several weeks, or even months. As long as there is an effort made on your part, you’re on the right track.
Revelation 3:20 – Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
In my Email Coaching course and Newsletter I go much deeper into this kind of pastoral care and team building.
Key #2: Learn How To Keep Your Cool following Jesus’ Emotional Intelligence Definition
Jesus had the ability to keep a cool head under pressure.
He was intelligent about his emotional intelligence. Jesus’ emotional intelligence definition is for all situations. He knew his true enemies and showed them to be such. He knew how to turn their traps around on them and show them the error of their hearts.
42 Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.“
Back in ancient times of the patriarchs, when people lived in groups to survive the harsh elements, mastery over emotions was a prized trait – something that the tribal leaders possessed.
Fast forward to today, congregations still look for that same basic trait in a pastor.
Although basic survival isn’t a concern in the present, you can still demonstrate your emotional mastery in other ways.
For instance, don’t get all worked up if the media team got your power point slides order wrong. Instead of berating him for the mistake (and looking immature in front of your after service lingering members), just play it cool.
If you have the kind of relationship with the media team that is secure enough for the occasional jabs, then poke fun at the botched job–No harm done.
Showing a congregation that you’re able to roll with the circumstances AND turning them around in God’s favor in a Romans 8:28 fashion will help your church become sanctified as a whole flock from glory to glory.
Great pastors with Jesus’ emotional intelligence definition firmly planted lead during difficulties and point the way to victory in Jesus. If you do not know the answer to a problem (no matter how uncomfortable or out of the box it is) do not chide or turn away the church member.
Take their problem seriously and reassure them that you will lead and guide them through the Bible, and through spiritual reliance on the Holy Spirit for an answer.
It provides victory expectancy and certainty in the reliability of the work of the Holy Spirit toward conforming them to the image of Christ. Church members need that immensely.
Furthermore, it gives them a good idea of what kind of spiritual leader you are in Christ. A pastor who has a handle on his emotional intelligence and spiritual confidence is more likely to communicate with church members in their spiritual walk – this is something all of God’s children appreciate in a church of emotional and spiritual safety.
Be Appropriate with your Emotional Intelligence
God’s daughters–the women in your church, in general are inclined to talk about their daily affairs from an emotional point of view. Meanwhile, the men in your church primarily prefer to list the events of their day in a more factual or chronological manner.
So having better control over your feelings and being pragmatic with intellectual, events, facts, and activity based interests makes you well rounded to handle both needs.
This balance can make you ready for any fellowship or counselling.
Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Key #3: Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
One of the common mistakes that a lot of pastors make is the mistake of projection. In conversations over coffee or post service handshakes they based their topic on church agenda type issues.
Also, it pains me to think that some believe Jesus never laughed or had a sense of humor. Sad.
Sticking to the facts and not injecting any emotions in your anecdotes won’t bring you closer to your flock.
Instead of using “canned” jokes, just smile and feel free to be yourself.
It’s OK to be playful with your dialogue and finding humor in a situation. If used sparingly, then some self-deprecating humor at your own expense can really lower a church member’s defenses and set them at ease.
One particularly helpful element of all this is opening up about a difficult experience where God helped you grow in Him. For instance, it could be about the time you were running late for Sunday Service and crumbling under the pressure.
You can be real with your trusted members of your staff to help you cool off before delivering a sermon.
You know how people look back on a tough times and laugh about them in retrospect? This is the same thing.
You are a real person–that will make you approachable.
By relating a difficult situation and finishing it up with a happy ending where you end up giving God the glory , you can build trust with positive, exciting emotions thanks to your light-hearted openness.
God has a sense of humor. It’s not only a part of His goodness and Divine Nature, it’s a good idea–and his example for pastors.
John 15:14 – Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
James 2:23 – And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.
God is a friend that you revere with awe, and respect, and gratefulness when you are in the faith. Also, He is our source of true joy!
“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:11).
Did I miss something about Jesus’ emotional intelligence in this post? I get to the end I start kicking myself for not making it longer.
However, God is wanting me to be emotionally intelligent about shutting my trap and opening up this blog for a discussion where we all can learn from your experiences and emotional intelligence savvy.
Leave your stories, comments and tips for all the pastors here at Pastor Planet!